Eyes of the Beast: What Your Pet is Really Thinking

Posted by admin on 04 3rd, 2009

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Recently Tawyn got in touch with an engineer of some repute and was able to fit out her raptor, Wash, with an extraordinary and experimental communication collar. The collar recorded the thoughts in Wash’s head– thoughts he couldn’t otherwise vocalize due to the limitations of his facial muscles. She let Wash wear this collar to a recent raid on Naxxramas, and upon playing it back later she was… surprised… at what she heard… Anub’rekhan Giant spidery things. Great. I was looking forward to that all morning. Have I mentioned lately that I’m arachnophobic? Just a wee bit? I don’t get why all these joints gotta be scary, anyways. One of these days I’d like to raid Fluffywing Lai– OOOOOO KIBLER’S BITS GIMME GIMME GIMME AHAHA MMMMMMMM I LOVE YOU ^_^ Grand Widow Faerlina Hey there babe. I can see why all those adds hang out next to you. Perhaps you’d like to… add me to that list? Eh? Eh? …oh come on it wasn’t that bad of a pun, now why are you flinging fireballs around? What did I ever do to you? Meh, at least you’re not a giant spider. Maexxna …you’ve gotta be kidding me. Noth the Plaguebringer Ugh I’m glad I’m out of that spider zone and we can move on to something slightly more normal. This guy here, looks like a normal tank’n’spank. You know, like the good ol’ times. In fact I… OHCRAPSKELETONS Heigan the Unclean WHOO you can smell this guy from a mile away. Hasn’t taken a bath in weeks I’m sure. As for dancing, I’ll show you how it’s OHMYGOSHDISEASEGETITOFFGETITOFF ahhhh… that was a close one. Okay, now for my dance moves. And one and two and AHHHHHHHPOISONPOISONPOISON phew. Okay, at this rate, I’m never gonna be able to demonstrate my dance, so perhaps if I GAHNOTAGAINTHISGUYNEEDSAMISTERYUKSTICKER Loatheb Oh sure, you get all the spores and the crit. I’ll just sit here, crying myself to sleep /huff Ooooh Cobra Strikes you say? Wellllll maybe we can work something out here… Instructor Razuvious So wait, I don’t get to use one of the mind control thingies? But I would be so good at it! Look at these! These are what we in the industry call “opposable thumbs”. At least, I think they are… Gothik the Harvester Wha… I’m on… Defensive? Huh… …huh… …huh. I feel odd. Four Horsemen So lemme get this straight: I just sit here, while you shoot a guy in the face. By yourself. While everyone else is on the other end of the room. I totally don’t get you sometimes. Look, I’m gonna at least go help you eat him… AAAAHHHH IT BURNS. Okay… never mind… I’ll just sit here, I guess… twiddling my aforementioned opposable thumbs… Patchwerk [The following occurred roughly every 1.17 minutes:] AHAHAHAH RAWRRAWR BEAST WITHIN AHAHHA I AM A GOD AMONG PETS! I’LL COME TO THE LAND OF THE ICE AND SNOW, BEAST WITHIN AND CHEW YOUR FACE OFF GO! Grobbulus So I know this guy is scary and all but does it really give you an excuse to keep running off to the wall? Okay, I’ll tell ya what. Ol’ Washy will take care of it. You go stand by the wall, and I’ll Claw the guy to death. K? K. Oooh, pretty green circle. *zap* Gluth WHOA WHOA WHOA, waitaminute. First spiders. Then skeletons. Now zombies? I don’t think so. I’m just gonna sit up here in this tube until it’s all over. Sound like a plan? …DON’T YOU DARE SPAM PASSIVE AT ME!! Thaddius Okay, okay, you can quit with the Passive spam already, I got the point on the last fight. Hahaha, look at you poor suckers running back and forth. More proof of the superiority of us pets and being immune to everything ^_^ Oh, right, that Heigan guy. Never mind. Sapphiron Okay, so this Kel’Thuzad guy who owns the place… he’s really gotta start paying his power bill. I mean, I understand the economy is bad right now, I’m a knowledgeable dinosaur, but really, when everything is covered in a, ya know, sheet of ice , it’s time to make some concessions. There’s only so far the ice sculptures can go before they get tacky, anyway. Oh, hey Sapph, ‘Ice to meet you. [Here Tawyn /facepalms] Kel’Thuzad Banshees now? Tawyn, my fragile psyche would like to thank you for this excursion into my nightmares. Maybe we can get Locke to come next time and I’ll take a nice long break and… Oooh, is that KT? …can we Bestial Wrath now? Please? Pleeeeeease? AHAHAHA YES OMNOMNOM! Tawyn, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. [End transmission]

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