Coffeecraft

Posted by sasderwn on 01 16th, 2012

Categories: Featured Articles | no responses

Guys, get this. I was in Starbucks the other day. Just ordered my coffee (I like mine mild) and as I’m adding non-fat milk, my eyes dart over to this guy in a suit next to me. Noticed he was adding sweetener to his coffee. Not only that, he put Soy in it.

And his stirring technique was way off.

He was using his stir stick going clockwise 3 times before going once counter clockwise. Everyone knows proper technique is to go 2 clockwise and 2 counterclockwise to really optimize distribution of cream to sugar. He wasn’t even mixing it the right way. No way did he deserve to be at Starbucks.

He also has to use exactly 2 cream and 2 sugar.

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I mean what a total scrub, right? He should just quit coffee entirely. What a casual. That’s not real coffee. Him drinking coffee is ruining my caffeine ingesting experience. He should be using real cream and legit sugar. Oh not only that, there was no lid on his cup of coffee. Come to think of it, I don’t think the cup that coffee was in is even worthy of that coffee that he’s drinking.

Sometimes I think real coffee is only for the hardcore crowd.

All the noobs should stick to instant.

You know, speaking of coffee, many of friends give me sass for drinking that stuff. Someone brought up the point that coffee’s just getting too old and outdated. Energy drinks are the way to go now.

There’s more energy in them.

There’s different taste.

And it’s just a new, different experience altogether.

But come on, let’s be real.